tis the season of thanks come round

and this year i am thankful for so many things,

and most of all:

my family,

who love me in spite of my tantrums and difficultness

my friends,

in particular, a certain Flea, an enabler if i’ve ever met one,

and most excellent underwear,

(and also because you have brought me closer to my sparkly edward..well in 7-14 working days anyway..)

and my nummy nums

(enough said).

and also my iPod,

so i can listen to Christmas music all year round (and you can’t judge me!)

even if it won’t let me play flac files.

so thank you Lord, for all that we have received,

and help us remember that we give thanks each and every day,

not least on this day of thanks.

*hopskip*

AND NOW ON TO CHRISTMAS!

yes i am ashamed that it took atonement and sparkly vampires to remind me of this.

which may be slightly bad for your head state,

but its a nice song.

maybe it’s christmas in the air,

the rain,

the damp fug in my shower

i don’t know.

am in a surprisingly good mood today.

find yourself somebody to love

lemon kisses

jam doughnut muffins

and now that i have sustenance,

i will study.

sure…

hee.

i love making cupcakes.

tomorrow i am going to make macarons.

wish me luck!

tOodles yo

you colour my black and white days

sometimes we learn something new about the past

that changes everything we know about the present.

this weather is making me feel all kinds of things i don’t want to feel.

giving feels so much better than receiving

but sometimes,

i get tired of giving.

i’m tired of holding everyone’s hands,

i can’t do it anymore.

i need someone to hug me and hold my hand and tell me everything’s going to be okay

i need someone

to love me too.

i wish i didn’t feel this way.

i am in a bad mood

i will bake something.

IF ONLY THE DAMNED BUTTER WOULD MELT ALREADY.

and Chopin, hurry up and download can or not?

grrr.

why is serena always dressed like a skank, why?

also,

mmm chuck bass.

MMMMM…

Pic @ Gossip Girl Insider

MMM.

now my head hurts from all this tv watching.

sometimes,when life is going (relatively) well for me

(by which i mean i have no dilemmas e.g. which colour to pick hahaha ok not really)

i like to do soul-destroying, confidence-shattering, and generally self-worth-undermining things.

i do this every so often, and then i often feel like a heel (and the crap it’s stepped in) for the rest of the day

so i TRY to do it at suitable times, e.g. 8 pm, when it’s late enough to not totally mess up the rest of the day but not too late that it stops me from sleeping.

(HA, that is a lie, nothing stops me from sleeping.)

i wonder why i continue to do these stupid things.

actually i must admit that deep down, i do know the reason,

(even if i try and hide or deny it)

and so do you,

except i can’t actually tell you,

because then you’d know that i know you know.

oh screw it we all know.

*

yesterday i had a long conversation with a friend about a situation we both wish we could do something about, or say something about, or just understand, really..

but then again it’s really none of our business

mind your own beeswax

is what we will be doing

(except i am allergic to beestings)

*

it’s too early in the day to be thinking about all these things.

i’m looking forward to my thursday and friday and saturday.

lalalalalalala.

in the meantime, i’m going to lie in bed and listen to music and think happy thoughts.

PANTS

with no POCKETS

are excellent things.

BECAUSE.

if you have no POCKETS,

you cannot put things like TISSUE PAPER into them

and FORGET to remove said tissue

and THUS

spend an HOUR

removing BITS OF TISSUE

from ALL YOUR CLOTHES

when you do your laundry!

see.

so in FACT

pants with no pockets

are TIME SAVING!

*

i am TORN between

this

and this

and this.

and when i decide on THIS,

i will regret this and this

and then i will stress out about getting THIS

and worry that maybe if i had gotten this or this instead life would have been easier.

SCREAM.

i just want this whole thing to be over

so that i can go home

and hug my dogs

and squeeze them until they EXPLODE.

i could walk across the ocean

with you walking next to me

we are a story,slowly unfolding

today i discovered that happiness

is not something we find

it’s something we create.

*

(baby i’m sorry i made you feel that way)

important lessons i have learned from gossip girl this week.

1. if you have large horsey veneers and restylane enhanced lips and are in actual fact 22 (or however old you are, “olivia burke”) there’s really no need to wear six pounds of eye makeup before 10 am. or ever.

2. when making sneaky-plotty phonecalls re: dastardly trickery to one’s co-conspirators, one should

a) make sure doors are secured and

b) stand facing the door so you can catch People You Have Just Duped when they walk in on you.

but then again if nate were smart enough to do this we wouldn’t have a “plot”.

3. Queen B needs to make a comeback, GIVE THE GIRL A BREAK ALREADY.

4. also yesterday on the train i sat opposite a guy who was a dead ringer for carter baizen, only more stubbly.

5. but that is not actually a lesson.

i love gossip girl,

but everyone seems to be going ten kinds of crazy this season!

gargh.

a bridge connects two places together, not one place to another.

how indeed?

i like euroa.

i wonder why?

“knowledge is all very well,

but rank stupidity is often rewarded surprisingly richly.”

nummynums!

*beams*

if there has been one lesson that i’ve learnt lately-

it’s that one should endeavour not to lock one’s self in the toilet.

indeed.

i spent this morning sitting in the sun drinking coffee and reading and watching the world go by and now i’ve turned into one of those people i just want to smack all the time.

gah.

toodles my darlings i’m going to watch 500 days of summer.

ah summer.

courtesy Postsecret

sometimes I just want to hug someone.

will you?