THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO TV

The following is a random list of TV shows,ranked in no particular order.

The O.C.

Although I initially thought this was a lame show ( because Marissa was acting all princessy) it soon became obvious that the Hunkiness of Benjamin Mackenzie and Adam Brody is worth it. Props to the writers-the cultural references are WAY out there..as are the subtle witticisms. It also helps that there are usually excellent panoramic shots of the ocean.

Quote of the day:

“How can you live like this? Your T-shirts are touching your sweaters!!”

                                                                                           -Summer Roberts, the O.C.-

NOTE: According to friends who live there, no one in Orange County calls it the OC.

That 70’s Show

FUNNY. But sadly I think the show has passed its peak…Ashton Kutcher’s dumb boy and Fez’s cliched furriner acts alone are not enough to sustain it..Still has good moments though, especially involving Red and Kitty Foreman (the parents).

Quote of the day:

“I’m sorry Mrs Foreman, I think I washed my face with your ovaries”

                                                                                       -Fez-

Sex and The City

Best show ever. Like talking to your best friend,with the added bonus of seeing many many MANY pairs of shoes. Its a great pick-me-up,because if people as successful as Miranda,Carrie,Samantha or Charlotte can’t find love (or the perfect pair of shoes), it sure makes the rest of us less-than-perfect people feel better. Unfortunately we’re about 6 months behind time, so if you really want to know what happens,its faster(and more satisfying) to just watch it on the Internet.

Quote of the day:

“The most challenging, exciting and significant relationship is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you YOU love, well, that’s just great”

                                                                                   -Carrie Bradshaw,Sex and The City-

Baywatch

Lamest show ever, with the possible exception of Baywatch Hawaii. Only redeeming point is that at the end of every episode there is usually a nice shot of the ocean as well. I only know this because the Simpsons is right after it, so i usually end up watching the credits.

Friends

Again, another extremely funny show. But it got a little bit confusing, what with the whole Rachel-Ross-Joey-back to Ross thing. Favourite episode: The one where Ross gets a fake tan. I like the theme song. This show, I believe embodies Gen X, which sadly I will never know because by the time I am 25 it will be something like…Gen Z . Or something.

Quote of the day:

Smelly cat, smelly cat what are they feeding you?”

                                                   -Phoebe Buffay,from her annoyingly infectious song-

The Simpsons

Classic TV. CLASSIC. This is a no holds barred attempt at poking fun at anything,and everything. Homer Simpson should be President, since the present one doesn’t seem any different anyway. Favourite episode: The one where Apu (the Indian grocer guy) has 8 kids and sells them to a zoo. Also, the one where Homer gets a gun.

Quote of the day:

“D’oh!”

                  -Homer Simpson-

Surfing The Menu

Excellent, owing to the fact that Curtis and Bender are so hot. Also their recipes are actually cookable and edible, if you know what I mean. Fully gratuitious shots of the Aussie coastline and frequent close ups of delectable dishes. One of the best cooking shows EVER.

A Cook’s Tour

Also highly entertaining. Only downside: Anthony Bourdain doesn’t actually cook anything. Also sometimes the things they say aren’t exactly true, eg a certain claim that AMPANG YONG TAU FOO comes from Singapore. Yeah,right. Ampang’s in KL,dear.

Favourite episode: the one where he eats (drinks?) a beating cobra heart in rice wine.

Newlyweds

Haha, Jessica Simpson is sooooo blonde.

Quote of the day:

“Is this chicken?I know its tuna,but it says here its Chicken of the Sea.Don’t make fun of me, honey,I’m not stupid”

                                                                                                                                -Her Royal Blondeness-

Ed

So so so funny.

Quote of the day:

“Ed Dershowhich. Graduated from Lawyer University”

Boston Public

Strangely addictive. Also, I didn’t know that Guber is gay. Its sad that its been cancelled.

Just Shoot Me

Quite funny. Plus point: frequent guest stars, such as Rebecca Romjin-Stamos, Heidi Klum, Dean Cain, Tyra Banks etc.

Everybody Loves Raymond

Oh my God, this was my favourite show at one point. Ray Romano is extremely funny. Unfortunately they have stopped showing it on Star World…

C.S.I.

Addictive. Especially when they have those 6 hour marathons. But only the Vegas one roX.

Grissom SO KICKS Horatio Caine’s hoity toity pretentious a**.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Guilty to admit that despite the obvious fakeness of the monsters I actually like this show. Although its surprising that Buffy can’t find herself a guy, Angel and Spike the vampires nonwithstanding. Also i’ve always wanted to throw sharp objects at people.

Monk

Another classic. Monk is so OCD..Although it seems mean to laugh at another person’s idiosyncrasies.But he’s really smart..Favourite episode: the one where he gets on the airplane. Also the one where the TV star murders his ex.

Quote of the day:

” I don’t like heights. Its 3rd on my list, after germs and snakes. No wait,its fourth. I forgot dirt”

Hmm…I think I watch too much TV.

NOTE to someone: Apologies for erroneously omitting Smallville. Will concede that Tom Welling is hot too, but frankly he looks a bit like the winner of America’s Next Top Model 2, Yoanna House.

http://www.upn.com/shows/top_model Check it out yourself!!

September 10, 2004. MY So-Called Life.

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