all that jazz

Recently I bumped into a friend- the extent of our past conversations were…

“Hi! Bye! See you! Thanks! On your way in/out? Good luck! Where’s the loo,do you know?”

But that day…just that day…something came over me.

For some strange reason, I started asking him all these stupid questions-not that they were stupid stupid, but I was just saying the stupidest things.

I don’t know EXACTLY what words came out of my mouth, but I DO know I was babbling.

Its like my brain wasn’t functioning properly,only this time I could actually see and hear myself,but I just couldn’t stop.

Like watching a train wreck-you know you have to stop it, but somehow you just stand there, drawn to the….tragedy of the experience.

All the while, he just stood there and smiled serenely, probably thinking, “Yup, gone round the bend…”

Anyways, I later find out that this guy told a friend, who told me(obviously) that I was “cute”

I take it to mean he thinks I am

a) kooky

b) obviously unhinged in some way

c) all of the above, and mad.

After that, while we were all stuck waiting and I had sobered up a little, I contemplated going over(he was sitting with aforementioned friend) and trying to make amends for my verbal diarrhoea.

But then the voice in my head started screaming….WHAT THE HECK DID YOU JUST DO?

So I thought the better of it and just stayed where I was, doing something I enjoy a lot, poking fun at people.

Anyways( I keep getting sidetracked), this just made me wonder..what if that was the moment- the one they talk about in books and movies….

the moments that make you go weak in the knees…that make you forget who you are..the moments that make you feel you’re floating on clouds..

the moments that take your breath away….

But I attribute it to the fact that it was

a) my birthday

b) I had just eaten a piece of cake

c) and a large piece of chocolate, for no reason

and the most important

d) I don’t believe in all that jazz.

But then I wondered again- what if I’m just too cynical?

And as I have decided;

I’m gonna let bygones be bygones.

Particularly…embarrassing ones.


Learning to laugh at yourself takes some growing up and letting go to do.

I’ve found the perfect reason.

Quote of the day:

“Life is not measured by the breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away.”


August 23, 2005. MY So-Called Life.

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