Torn between two loves

This is a public service announcement.

For the safety and well being of the general public,

I STRONGLY URGE YOU to STOP THE OWNER OF THIS BLOG should she ATTEMPT TO PURCHASE ANOTHER PAIR OF SHOES.

Her now alarming collection of shoes has taken over the shoe cupboard, the shoe rack, the area surrounding the shoe rack, the store room, the porch, as well as various areas of her house.

Here are some guidelines I suggest you take:

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM INVITING HER TO A SHOE SALE.

PLEASE STOP TAKING HER TO SHOE STORES.

PLEASE DO NOT ALLOW HER TO HAVE CONTACT WITH ANY STAFF IN SHOE STORES.

IF SHE TRIES TO CLIMB UP A LADDER TO RETRIEVE A PAIR OF SHOES HERSELF, PLEASE REMOVE SAID LADDER IMMEDIATELY.

KINDLY REFRAIN FROM ASKING HER ANY SHOE RELATED QUESTIONS AS THIS WILL ONLY ENCOURAGE HER.

WHENEVER POSSIBLE, EXPOSE HER TO PICTURES OF FUGLY SHOES; THIS SEEMS TO SOMEWHAT SUBDUE HER.

SHOULD THE NEED ARISE, FORCIBLY REMOVE HER WALLET AND/OR ANY HIDDEN CASH/CREDIT CARDS YOU CAN FIND ON HER.



WE MUST TAKE IMMEDIATE ACTION, OR HER SHOES WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD FOREVER!!

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, ACT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Please ignore the clearly stupid person who has posted this ridiculous message.

MY SHOES ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

HMPH.

September 1, 2005. MY So-Called Life.

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