The Sun Won’t Set

I’ve always known that I’m…blur, for want of a better word.

Since moving on to college and university,I haven’t made much of an effort to keep in touch with my old friends, barring the few I’m really close with.

I realised I don’t know anything about them; after we left school, time just stopped and that was it.

Whenever the occasion arises that I meet up with some of them; at parties, the movies, out shopping…people tend to go…oh, you should have heard, so and so is this this this…

Generally around this point I start feeling a bit funny…its like I’m always the last to find out about things, even when those things are about me, and I do believe its mostly on my part.

I don’t get the point of gossip. Everyone seems to know and wants to know how other people are doing, but by the time the story gets around sometimes its so far from the truth its just sad.

I don’t see the point in having to know everything about everyone, like life’s some big popularity contest, and if you’re not, you’re just done.

I just don’t understand why people pretend to care, when they really don’t.

I don’t understand why its so important to be seen pretending to care, because then you and I both know we’re frauds, but neither of us is going to admit it.

Maybe I’m just not that good an actor.

The sun won’t set.


January 17, 2006. MY So-Called Life.

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