the ? question

you know, i think i like this new career of mine.

after all, i get to use big words like pathognomonic without being judged.

me likey.

December 24, 2010. MY So-Called Life. 3 comments.

we’ll find the key

i am currently feeling a sense of contentment i haven’t felt in a long time.

maybe it’s because i am super full

from

breakfast (cherries), lunch (cherriescarrotspizza), and dinner (paellasouvlakipidepancakesNOMORECHERRIESTHANKGOD)

whoopee.

*

i’m listening to a song a friend wrote

it is ..

interesting.

i thought it would make me sad,

but all it has done is made me feel nostalgic.

i’m not sure if it’s just an idealised memory

but then again isn’t that what nostalgia is about, really?

reminiscing about things you once wanted and loved,

things you thought you loved

things you still love

things that were far from

ideal

but somehow always manages to seem…

perfect,

when you reflect on it.

*

this coming year i’m making a promise

because i’m worth it.

you make the things i see so beautiful

December 8, 2010. MY So-Called Life. 1 comment.

priori incantatem

“if you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded”

– maya angelou

today, i am officially a doctor.

no longer will i be able to lean on the crutch of “i’m just the medical student, let me clarify with ____”

this is it.

*

i think about the past 5 and a half years,

the past 3 years,

and quite oddly,

the past year in particular

(if you know the reason, you know)

i think about all the cliches you hear at graduations and commencement ceremonies,

all the “this is not the end, it’s just the end of the beginning”

etc etc etc

and trite, twee, contrived as they all are,

there is something about crossing that stage, walking down those steps

that makes you think-

it’s been a long journey,

it wasn’t always easy,

but i’ve come a long way.

there’s something about it that makes you feel

i deserve this,

i am worth it.

*

today,

having the people who really matter to me

and having someone (you know who you are) say to me-

you’ve done well for yourself

i know i can do it

i still get these fleeting moments of sadness, of anger, of regret,

but now the difference is

i can tell myself

you will get better, and you will be better

i will be better than this.

i will now end with a cliche.

The first act of your life is over. Welcome to the best years of your lives.

– Nora Ephron

*

we all do, even the most flawed of us,

we all have.

December 5, 2010. MY So-Called Life. 2 comments.