The Price of Love
Love knows not its own depth,until the hour of separation. -kahlil gibran- On the 18th of April 2004,my dog Buffy died. To date,I have only told 2 people. Why?I don’t know. I don’t think she deserved to die.She was only 2. So why did God pick her?Why couldn’t it have been someone else?What about the thousands of serial killers and rapists and terrorists and murderers who actually DESERVE to die? Ok,maybe that was a little bit mean.I would never wish that on anyone,corrupt or otherwise. She was an extremely intelligent dog,considering that she learned to give me high-fives after 2 lessons. She would hide under the kitchen table,and when I came home she used to climb over the little barrier and chew on my socks. I loved her very much. When the doctor diagnosed her with kidney failure,she had to be admitted to be put on drip.She was so miserable,I hated seeing her suffer.The doctor asked me to consider euthanasia,but I refused. I wasn’t about to give up on her.I don’t think its up to anyone to decide when its time for someone to leave this world,not even a dog. So we brought her home.She refused to eat or drink,so I devoted about 3 hours a day to feeding her.She would only eat shredded chicken and blended k/d,which is the recommended food for dogs with malfunctioning kidneys.She refused most foods.I couldn’t even get her to eat Honey Stars.And when she didn’t eat,I would have to force-feed her,and I know she hated that.I still have the scars. Despite the fact that she ate so little,she never flagged.I don’t think she ever lost her zest for life. She would still climb over the barrier everyday,run up the stairs and attack my little stuffed frog toy. She still defended her orange rubber ball from Tara,my other dog. She would still sit on my lap when I was reading,all the while chewing on my toy frog. I would like to think she still loved me. In the last days of her life,I spent every free moment I could with her.I refused to believe that it was time for her to go. But then she died. I would hide in the bathroom crying,so no one would see.I didn’t want to believe it. I sat looking at her little cage for hours,wishing that she would come back. I would still come home hoping that she would be there waiting for me. But she was gone. Then I learnt of the Rainbow Bridge. There is a bridge connecting Heaven and Earth.It’s called that because of its many colours.Just this side of the Rainbow Bridge is a land of meadows,hills and valleys,all covered with lush green grass.When a beloved pet dies, it goes to this lovely land.There,the old and frail are young again.The maimed are made whole once more.They play all day,content and comfortable. there is only one thing missing:they are not with the special person who loved them on Earth. But the day will come when pet and owner are reunited. Then,together,they cross the Rainbow Bridge,never again to be separated. I don’t know if it really exists.And I don’t care if every one else thinks I’m some kind of sentimental,crazy person who needs to get a grip on reality. But I believe its there. I cry because out there,she’s gone,but she’s not gone inside me. I don’t think it’s ever fair to lose someone or something you love. I loved her very much,but I guess God loved her more. Buffy taught me so many things.She loved me unconditionally,when I was in a bad mood,when I was having a bad day.She never questioned why I am the way I am.She accepted me for who I was and loved me anyway.Maybe she didn’t know the difference. Its funny, you begin by imagining that you are giving them so much,but you end by realising that they’ve given you so much more. For I have finally learnt to say goodbye.
why is it so hot?
I have just returned from a 4-day holiday to a retreat that shall remain nameless.
I itch.Very badly.I was a temporary buffet table for a colony(is that what its called?)of bugs.
To the point that I actually dropped my dog(!!!!!!!!)to attack myself.
I am also in a bad mood,as my dog has just bitten me for dropping her.
So basically,this is just one crappy entry by one very crabby person.
I apologise…
Now I must go scratch myself.
p/s: sorry izuan..forgot about that…=)
whY me????
As I have pointed out, I’m no computer genius. I can barely switch the stupid thing on without killing somebody (granted, this may be a bit of an exaggeration)….
It IS useful at times..like when i want to watch reruns of the O.C…or listen to rod stewart croon about cigarette butts and foolish things,for that matter.
But on days like these, i absobloominglutely hate it.
Brainless antivirus program detected about 700 viruses (about time..)and started to shut down my computer every 5 minutes,which pretty much made it impossible for me to burn cds of the oc and rod stewart songs.Which sucks,big time.
WhY me? what have i ever done to provoke the almighty Lords of Technical Computer Babbledegook? Why?WHy? Why?
I think this question is like one of those rhetorical things that just annoy people cause they’re just sitting there, being smug and all-knowing.
Like,why is it justified for men to allow rainforests to be destroyed to make farming land for cows who will later become Big Macs for the ignorant masses who worship the symbol of all that is evil,Ronald McDonald?
You get my drift.
How then, did I manage to write this?
I just deleted the damn program. Truly inspired,even if I say so myself.
I know the viruses are still there. Thing is, as long as I don’t see them, and they don’t bother me, I think we can have a symbiotic relationship. I’m just so damn nice. *cough cough*
RIP,Mr Antivirus.
What you can’t see won’t hurt you. And what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.
-e-
The Apparent Evils of Friendster and other Online Devil-spawn communities
hMmm….I just realised that I say hmmm a lot…and cough cough, too….
ANYWAY, back to pressing matters.
For those of you living under a rock in Darkest Peru, Friendster is the latest thing to hit us crazy people with nothing better to do than spend hours writing testimonials and posting surveys.Ok, so maybe its not exactly the LATEST,but hey,I’ve never exactly been a very latest-trend-type person..
I just don’t get it.
I mean,the concept is fine,I’m not saying it isn’t.But is THAT really the way we’re using it?
From the countless profiles,testimonials and bulletins I’ve read,I can’t say that its much more than a way for people to
a)show off how many friends they have,regardless of the fact that they probably might not know half the people on their buddy list
b)show off what *interesting* things they have,ranging from designer goods to latest gadgets,to cars,to small countries…..
c)exhibit their knowledge of different languages (i say this with reason)
d)exhibit their “macho-ness” by refusing to succumb to the many temptations ( ie. posting those addictive bulletins,replying to testimonials,etc etc etc)and yet are not to cool to send 200 friend requests,etc.
The list goes on.
The Friendster world is glossy,indeed. We are all shiny-haired people,picture perfect.
Help!My life is trapped in a Noxzema commercial.
Life is one big beach party,and hell,you ain’t gonna gatecrash.
No one ever says anything less than nice about anyone else.The bad gets glossed over,occasionally someone casually mentions something and that’s that.
Why?Are we too insecure to admit our weaknesses?Why the denial,folks?
The world’s not perfect.Hell, I’M not perfect.
So why can’t we just admit it?
I swear,some of the testimonials I’ve read are so similar, they might as well be cookie cutter forms where all you have to do is change the name.
Ms So-and-so is the smartest,prettiest,friendliest,nicest,most wonderful……………………………..
or,
Mr So-and-so is the smartest,most good-looking,friendliest,nicest……………………….
and other -iest adjectives I never knew existed.But that’s ok, free vocab lesson for me,anyway.
I’m not saying that the next time you write a testimonial, you’ve gotta let him (or her) have it.
All I wonder is: Why can’t we handle the truth?
Will someone ever write a testimonial where what is said is what the person truly feels and believes,and not just what other people expect him to say?
Will the day come,when we can look at ourselves and say,enough of this sugar-coated crap,here’s the real deal..?
In the mean time, I’m going to retreat to the safe haven of my perfect Friendster world.
That’s right.
Guilty,and loving every moment.
-e-
gReetings
Hello…….
This is my first blog entry, and by my own admission, I’m not sure exactly what I’m doing…My knowledge of computers and their highly complicated workings amount to zilch,actually.
Why bother then? I just felt I needed a place to ven express…my thoughts…and starting a blog seemed like a good idea.
Basically, I just have too much time ( college is off for 2 weeks….pure unadulterated lazing about…)…
Stop by when you’re bored…I promise I’ll be nice!! =)
signing off for now….
-eleanor-
POOK POOK 